Why call it morning sickness if it lasts ALL DAY??

This is the bullshit part of pregnancy that you can't really prepare yourself for. Not matter how many saltine crackers you shove in your mouth, how many ginger products you consume, and even the doctor prescribed nausea pills... You might still find yourself kneeling in front of that porcelain bowl puking up anything and everything you tried to eat that day.

They say that morning sickness is supposed to subside after week 12. I feel like mine got worse as the weeks went on. I'm at week 12 right now, and I feel worse than I did when I was in the earlier weeks. Apparently, you're supposed to gain weight during pregnancy... well,  I've not gained anything. In fact, I've lost weight. I don't even have a little pudge to show that I'm pregnant. It has me a little worried because if I can barely keep food down, what kind of nutrition is this baby getting?

I am sick. Like, 24/7 nausea and vomiting. Due to the fact that I'm always throwing up whatever I try to eat, I'm always hungry. So I'm irritable, and moody all the damn time. I swear, I'll give it to week 14, and if I'm still this bad, then the doctor needs to do something about this. I can't keep losing weight, and I can't continue not being able to hold food down. It's a scary thought to think that my baby may not be getting the nutrients he/she needs because of this stupid nausea and puking all the damn time.

Those who said, "Pregnancy is a beautiful time in a woman's life" can eat a dick. I am NOT glowing, I do NOT feel beautiful. I do not feel like some goddess that creates world because I hold the "cradle of life". Screw that philosophic trash. Whoever said that must not have ever had a child. In all honesty, I feel shitty. For the past 12 weeks (which is a LONG time) I've felt like garbage. I have no energy, because I swear I'm malnourished. How could I not be? I can't eat.

And it's not just eating. My sense of smell makes things worse too. It's like the slightest smell that for some reason I was fine with before I was pregnant, I can't stand to be around it now. The smell of raw meat, the smell of leftovers, my dog, certain body washes, cologne, perfume, anything strong and distinct makes me want to vomit. I feel bad for Phil because now I rely on him for anything and everything. He already has enough on his plate, now he has to baby his pregnant girlfriend that has become somewhat of an invalid because I can't seem to do anything without rushing off to the bathroom.

This sickness is NOT making me like this baby any more. I mean, I should be happy that we're having a little blessing, and I am. But I cannot wait until I give birth so that I can go back to NOT feeling like I want to punch my stomach every day and tell the baby to chill out. (Which I would never do... but the thought has crossed my mind more than a few times.)

We'll see how time goes.